RIP 5-for-$1 Goldfish

Whenever someone asks if I have pets, I say that I have goldfish. They’re technically not mine; officially they belong to my grandma. Or maybe I should say belonged, in past tense, because they all died. Again. I was responsible for cleaning the tank; grandma was responsible for feeding them. Unfortunately, the fish were fed too much and died of a) ammonia poisoning, b) not enough oxygen in the water, c) eating waaaaaaaay too much, or d) all of the above. (I pick answer d)

So here’s a small dedication to the 5-for-$1 goldfish that just died today. (Credit goes to Andrius Pojavis for the original lyrics/tune)

I have to tell you something
And you won’t like it — At all
I’ve got to tell you this
And you won’t like it—not at all
I thought it was ‘cause of me
But then I walked in and saw the tank

If you don’t know: Those fish eat too much
First they eat lunch then have second brunch
Since NH3 gas is not good for you
That fish is dead; the others are too

So tell me now
It’s all your fault
It’s too much food, tell me now
Tell me now
‘Cause I walk in and see them corpses float

If you don’t know: Those fish eat too much
First they eat lunch then have second brunch
Since NH3 gas is not good for you
That fish is dead; the others are too

But still you don’t know: Those fish eat too much
First they eat lunch then have second brunch
Since NH3 gas is not good for you
That fish is dead; the others are too.
That fish is dead; the others are too.

rip-fish

So rest in peace, goldfish; we’ll get new fish to remind us of you. And hopefully make sure they don’t die of NH3 poisoning.

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