I’ve been Waiting for My Lunch

The distribution center for the pharmacy I work at finally opened, but it’s still in its Testing 123 phase so we haven’t filled that many prescriptions yet. I got assigned to a station which dispenses some of the less common prescriptions, so I filled a grand total of 5 prescriptions last shift. As we weren’t allowed to leave our stations for more than 5 minutes to go to the bathroom unless it was break/lunch or bring in stuff from the break room, we spent 8 hours staring at the assembly line full of almost nothing. Thank goodness our work stations had computers with Microsoft Paint next to the company software, so I’m pretty sure people are mastering drawing with a mouse right now.

One of my coworkers brought me a stack of paper to write down which drugs had scanning issues, so I grabbed a few extra sheets and started drawing. Or attempting to write stuff. This is what came out of last night’s shift:

I’ve been Waiting for my Lunch (parody of “I’ve been Waiting for this Night”)

Verse 1:
Here I’m standing bored out of my mind
Watching all the drugs come off the line
There is nothing I can do,
My attention’s falling through,
Almost gone
Here I’m standing bored out of my mind, ugh.

Refrain:
Filled a thousand scripts, swear I’ve lost my wits
I’m so hungry now, gonna clock right out
I’ve been waiting for my lunch
I’ve been waiting for my lunch
When I see the clock and there’s one minute left
I pull out my badge, I’m about to swipe
I’ve been waiting for my lunch
I’ve been waiting for my lunch

Verse 2:
If only I had something with to play
To get me three more hours into the day
There is nothing I can do,
My attention’s falling through,
Almost gone
If only I had something with to play, ugh.

(Refrain)

Oh…

(Refrain)

Here I’m standing bored out of my mind

You know you’ve been watching too much Eurovision when… (pt 5/Work Edition)

So I got a job at the pharm plant, and sometimes it’s hard getting my head from ESC fan mode to Pharm mode. As a result, weird stuff sometimes happens…

Click here for part 1,  here for part 2, here for part 3, and here for part 4

  1. The first thing you notice about your general manager is that she looks like Carola circa 2006.

    My manager’s reaction to watching Carola’s performance: Wait, I look like her? Well, I can’t sing, but can I switch places with her? She looks like she’s got more money than I do.” 

  2. You get frustrated that the drugs on the pharmacy shelves are less organized than your Eurovision music folder, which you talked about in your interview to sound slightly more organized than you really are.

    And it doesn’t help that there’s blood pressure medicine next to an antibiotic which is next to a bipolar lithium drugs. At least put everything in ABC order or drug type…T_T

  3. Your coworker doesn’t understand when you tell them another coworker looks like one of the Hungry Hearts.

    Me: [Coworker] looks like one of the Hungry Hearts, you know, “The streets of Moscow with my girlfriend.” Coworker: You trying to say that [coworker] is a lesbian? Me: All I said was that she looks like one of the Hungry Hearts…

  4. You remember the drug Lisinopril (an ACE inhibitor/high blood pressure drug) with “Lisja Esenski.”

    Hmmmm…what other mnemonics can I use to remember these drugs??

  5. You freak out when one of your coworkers introduces herself as Conchita and nods when you ask, “You mean like the singer in Austria?!”
  6. Everyone at work has heard you sing If Love was a Crime.

    Manager that looks like Carola: So I heard you singing that song in the bathroom yesterday...

    Manager that looks like Carola: So I heard you singing that song in the bathroom yesterday…

  7. Ditto with Love Love Peace Peace

    Old women baking bread, a man in a hamster wheel, a flaming fake piano, and a Russian man on skates…

  8. When your coworker introduces himself as Gary but pronounces the G really lightly, you mishear the name as Jüri.

    Hang on a sec, you're the wrong person...

    Hang on a sec, you’re the wrong person…

  9. You’ve managed to get your coworkers to hold a 15-second singalong of the Ace Wilder’s “Don’t Worry.”

    I'd consider that a success at the Pharm.

    I’d consider that a success at the Pharm.

  10. Your coworker, who’s helping you train other coworkers, asks why a) you constantly space out, b) can remember all these countries/songs/artists/usw, and c) forget your lunch at least 5 times in 4 weeks

    Well I would apologize for being a Eurovision fan. But I'm not sorry, no.

    Well I would apologize for being a Eurovision fan. But I’m not sorry, no.

 

Why Am I Crying (over index cards)?

I got a job at the pharmacy a month ago, and as of so far, it’s great. My coworkers are mostly chill; they haven’t said anything about me singing If Love was a Crime at work, they couldn’t care less that I’m ace (considering that at least 3 more people in my squad are out), and we’re at the point of swapping lunch food as if we’re in elementary school again.

Our one major complaint? The bathrooms at work.

Since the pharmacy (technically the prescription filling plant) only opened a few months ago, there was no cleanup/custodial squad for the first 3 weeks I worked there, so we techs had to clean the bathrooms ourselves. It wouldn’t have been a major issue, had there not been a) a 6:1 ratio of females to males, b) only 4 available stalls per gender, and c) people not cleaning up after themselves.

As there were so many people using the bathroom, the stalls would stink up only two hours after we cleaned them due to unspecified coworkers not flushing, leaving residue on the seats, etc. One stall was so bad that it required its own can of air freshener and a note reminding people to flush/check the seat for residue.  It got to the point that for the drug name portion of our tech exam, we remembered the drug Lasix/furosemide (a diuretic to lower blood pressure) as: You will be furious when you see that someone peed on the toilet seat that you just cleaned 20 minutes ago. And with every incident in the bathroom, we were furious.

The higher ups weren’t doing anything, so I decided to take things into my own hands, making PSAs out of index cards and sticking double-sided tape on the back. I finally had a chance to put my chronic doodling to good use, so they were going to look nice as well as be informative and useful. My coworkers approved of the plan and were as excited as I was to tape up the PSAs and brighten the bathroom stalls the next day after seeing the cards.

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A day later a coworker tells me that Pharmacist and Front Desk HR took down the signs. I ran into the bathroom and saw the original blank stalls, but no sign of the PSAs in any of the trash cans. The regional pharmacy director is visiting today, I thought, maybe they just took them down for her. And I don’t see any index cards in the trash; maybe they still have them. Maybe they’ll put them back when Pharm Director leaves…

Once Regional Pharm Director left (after a pep talk reminiscent of the “welcome to the company; now please give your 200% while you’re at work” introduction video on Day One), I asked Front Desk HR about the PSAs. She confirmed that she took down the signs because Pharm Director was visiting and PD didn’t like the signs (or any signs/flyers/handouts that weren’t from the company). That was okay. But by any chance, do you still have them?

“I threw them out.”

“You threw them out.” I repeated what HR said, reaching for one glimpse of hope that it wasn’t true.

“I threw them out,” HR snapped impatiently. “You can’t have signs in there.”

I left HR’s desk (now surrounded by Pharmacist, Manager, and Plant Director) with a straight face, hearing Pharmacist complain to HR, “Does [Pharm Director] even like anything?” I kept that face on the outside, but was shaking on the inside, sympathetics over-firing, trying not to break down/cry/look like a moron for unknowingly breaking the pharmacy’s rules, trying to remain calm and remember that I just passed my pharm tech license exam. It should have been a happy day from seeing that 93% on the screen, being publicly embarrassed congratulated by Pharm Director, and not having to worry anymore about the exam, but I couldn’t focus on anything except the 5 trashed index cards. I put work into them, I thought, do they know how bad the bathroom situation is?

Rational side started talking inside as well. But they were against the rules. And to tell the truth you just wanted to show off your doodles to your coworkers and feel warm and fuzzy for that. Shouldn’t you be celebrating your tech license exam instead? It’s just 5 index cards with simple doodles of cartoon characters. You still have 3 in your locker—and one of them is the Poli Genova one too! And you took a picture of all of them first! Seriously, it’s just 5 index cards; why are you crying?

I totally understood that it was an irrational thought, that it was just 5 index cards with marker doodles next to the “Please wipe residues off the seat” reminder written in blue Sharpie that were completely replaceable. I totally understand that like Estonia scoring dead last in the semi, it shouldn’t throw me off for the next 5 hours. In a perfect world, I would have just smiled and walked away, but instead my sympathetics started firing because another part of me was upset about artwork getting thrown out. I know I’m not thinking straight about the cards, but I just want them back. And if I ever decide to put them on the bathroom stalls again, they’ll be super glued on all four edges and backed with duct tape so HR and Pharmacist can’t take them down again.

EDIT: The day after I finished writing the section above, one of my coworkers handed me three familiar-looking, double-sided-taped-together cards dug out of the trash.

“[Manager] was looking for you, heard you wanted these back.”

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I’m still not convinced that I left work today without crying. But they’re back and that’s all that matters.