Gyllene Skor

I just checked the tags for “barefoot” and “asexual”, and the count was 5 and 7 posts, respectively. Whoops. Maybe I should have chosen a different page title (though that’s not entirely fair since I hadn’t come out at the time)…

If you didn’t bother to check the title of the entire page, I’m a barefooter (at least a part-time) and don’t like wearing shoes. IMO, wearing shoes is like going to a buffet and getting the same bowl of room-temperature porridge every time when there are so many different flavors, textures, and temperatures to experience. There’s the slightly grainy feel to a smooth wooden floor, the cool feeling to a polished tile floor, the warm earthy feel when running on grass after summer rain. There’s the firewalk over hot asphalt paired with cool, white, painted lines, the occasional grate on the concrete, maybe a puddle to hop into. And then there’s snow, where I’ll feel giddy sinking my feet into an inch of snow, letting the heat flow out to melt into the perfect footprint, and running back indoors to feel warm blood rushing back to my toes.

Just be careful though, since a numb foot= a dumb foot. And insulation is important too.

But not everything’s fair in the buffet, especially 3 things: hypothermia, sharps, and legal issues. Sure it’s great getting to walk over all the different textures, but it’s probably a good idea to check the weather and look where you’re going. It’s also a good idea to make sure to not get banned from stores from “forgetting to wear shoes.” And while setting a temperature limit (for me it’s 0 deg C for wet ground and -4 deg C for dry ground, wind chill dependent) and watching for suspicious items, I can’t just stay indoors 24/7 or put on emergency flip flops, especially not as a chemistry major. Also, as a uni student, there’s no way I’m getting Michael Flatley’s $40 million leg insurance. That’s when foot protection items come in. And this is probably the only post where I’ll write about how I like this pair of shoes.

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For anyone who doesn’t care about Eurovision (read: my family), it’s great that this pair of wooden clogs is bright yellow. That way others can see and hear them from 50+ meters away. They’re also a little bit tall but not slanted, so I can keep my feet out of the snow but still walk flat. It’s also nice that if I can’t go barefoot, I can at least bring a little piece of wooden floor with. And if someone’s being an asshole (read: the person in the bio department who keeps making rude ace jokes about binary fission), I’m wearing 2 projectiles around my feet.

As for anyone in the ESC community, a) they’re Swedish clogs, which connects to Stockholm hosting the contest this year, and b) they have to connect to the Herreys that won in 1984 singing about yellow shoes. I don’t think I’m going to dance in them, but I’ll definitely sing (read: mumble) along if the song comes up on my playlist.

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