30 Days of Eurovision- Day 27 (and some rants)

Prompt: Your favourite entry for lyrics

Today’s one of those days that if my 11th grade English teacher read what I was typing, she would call the counselor on me and pull me out of class for some kind of mental issue. And all I would tell them is that I was, as Dr. Dischord from the Phantom Tollbooth would say, suffering from a lack of noise. It would sound slightly asshole-ish, but that would be normal since I keep wrapping myself in sarcasm and music to stop going crazy from the demons in our minds (in order to be a hero of our time).

Yep, it’s that song. Again.

If my 11th grade English teacher ever decided to dissect the song, she would probably destroy it like every other New Criticism advocate, rejecting the background story of Måns’s stickman MP and any sort of emotion that he and his fans feel. (Thanks AP Bored Board!) She would probably ask, what is a hero and what is a demon, and spend at least half an hour on 17 words in the refrain.

I’ll say that I have two major “demons.” The first is dealing with verbal abuse from specific people offline that I’m not allowed to fight back (because of past incidents). I’ll wake up in the morning a little too late, make some sort of mistake, and suddenly old bones get dug up and shots get fired. It’s either that or the specific people offline and I don’t understand each other’s sarcasm dialect, and the one with more power gets to throw me out of the house for 5 hours with the mosquitoes. I’ll get back inside after being forced to promise not to overreact and be more rational, and the next day I’ll get triggered into having a panic attack. And of course, I’ll get yelled at for having one. Thanks a lot, specific people offline. I owe you guys so much to not believe in myself, think the only thing I can do is organise my music library, and cry/have meltdowns in multiple professors’ offices. I really love you guys (end of sarcastic rant).

And then there’s the other “demon”: setting up some sort of mental block or distraction around something that I should be able to do.  I’ll think I can’t do something or think something’s boring, and just walk away, like I just quit the blog for a week due to writer’s block or I’ll skip class because I can’t listen to lectures about paint drying. And instead of doing what I’m supposed to do, I’ll be curled up in front of my laptop binge watching South Park or Eurovision reruns and drinking Mountain Dew, trying to avoid a “I can’t do this” trigger or a panic attack trigger.

That is, until someone/something yanks me back. Like a professor who said I could do it, who said I could succeed, who said I could be a hero. Thank you, Professor W for listening to me vent last week. On a separate note, no matter how hard I try to not imagine it, you still look a lot like Peter Hollens and Nic Rouleau.

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