So many Marias

Working at the bakery isn’t that bad. My coworkers are pretty chill, no one cares if I sing, we can talk about anything we want, and unless there’s a jerk trying to spoil the mood by asking for nonexistent blueberry bagels everyone tends to be in somewhat good spirits. Unfortunately, there’s one coworker that spoils the experience, and her name is Maria.

Whenever I see that our schedules overlap, I want to run away from work or at least just stay away from her. As the person who’s been at the bakery the longest (even longer than the manager), she constantly tells people off for doing things incorrectly and just grumbles about newbie employees who don’t know anything.

Despite my complaints about Maria I can understand where she’s coming from. She’s used to the bakery working like clockwork and is frustrated that newly-hired employees make things harder for her. She also knows exactly when our customers and work superiors want, and what to expect when they aren’t happy with our results. As a result she pushes us to follow the bakery’s expectations as quickly as possible, and she doesn’t get friendly until we reach that point.

Since I’m not at that point yet, all I can do is tread very lightly, make sure everything is right, get off work, and find a different Maria that won’t yell at me (i.e. one on YouTube in the ESC world). For example…

Malta 1971- Marija l-Maltija

A) The guy’s smiling. B) He’s also jamming to the song. It’s also so Ohrwurm-y that my family members who hate ESC are humming the song. I don’t speak Maltese so I don’t understand anything he sings, but I will sing along to the refrain and perform his awkward hand gestures as he goes “Marija, Marija, Mariiiii….”

Greece 2007- Yassou Maria

I’m going to have to call guilty pleasure on this one, because I wouldn’t want anyone to catch me singing this and posting it on the Internet. It’s really hard to not sing along though, since it’s super Ohrwurm-y. I try to keep the song in my head at work in order to not explode from stress, and it’s super ironic because the Maria in the song is completely different from the Maria at work.

Serbia 2007- Marija Šerifović

I think I’m going to do this song in the freezer one day, complete with the flute solo. This is one of those songs that I won’t care if it shows up on YouTube.

Norway 2008- Maria Haukaas Storeng

Confession: I haven’t listened to this for a while since it’s pretty much reminding single people to hold on and be strong. However, it’s always nice to get encouragements and a reminder the someone’s always there.

Ukraine 2014- Mariya Yaremchuk

Sometimes I think I would rather be the guy in the hamster wheel despite having really stupid blood that won’t carry oxygen. Or have to deal with obnoxious people at work. But realistically stupid blood means I’d pass out at work and end up on a hospital bed dealing with the even more stupid medical bills. Oh well… maybe I can sing the lyrics too (in the shower).

Iceland 2015- María Ólafs

Ummm…barefoot representation at the contest? Yes! The shoes definitely hurt after 7-8 hours in the bakery. (As much as I like going barefoot, it’s a really bad idea to walk into a freezer or oven without any shoes…). And everything is one step at a time: fighting off depression, getting used to work, finishing that case of potato chips…


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